Today's my audition for the Eagles live industrial. I think I get the gist of what they're looking for, but I'm wondering what the audition could possibly be like. Cold-reading and improv-ing a script? Selling a pitch? No idea.
I'm nervous, and it's odd because I only get really nervous because artistically I want so bad to be part of a production. I'm nervous today because A) I really need this paycheck B) I really really need this paycheck and C) if I get this, I'm going to have to be that horrible flaky actor who fucks up her commitments to everyone else.
Why am I so scared of doing that? Every actor has to at some point, it's the nature of the business. Because my nature is to get everyone to like me, and keep it that way. Argh. It's frustrating, but it's true. The thought of someone being upset with me, or saying "Oh Teresa, what a bitch, she totally dropped out last minute and fucked up my entire project" or just "Oh Teresa. Ugh." Or whatever! Oh god, it's such a lame worry, because clearly you can't make everyone happy. I have a hard enough time just making myself happy.
So I need to just concentrate on that. What would make me happy....Booking this job, calling up my little indie film director and him having no problem with me flaking out on three days of shooting, effortlessly rearranging my teaching schedule for August, and somehow being able to do the Shakespeare performance on the 26th. I want to do it all. I can't. (I don't even know if I can. I signed contracts!)
Tom Logan is probably snorting at me right now. There's so little chance I'll be hired, and here I am, obsessing at 9:30 am in my bathrobe. I've just spent the last 30 minutes on the eagles website and I've learned...that Jessica the Eagles Cheerleader would pick Taco Bell as her last meal. Oh my god.
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1 comment:
paychecks are paychecks, even if they come from taco bell eating eagles.
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