It struck me at the lawyering retreat that what all the resort guests had in common (besides blue-clad waiter/lifeguards serving them ice water and sunblock) was that they all had a ton of money. And, undoubtedly, most of them are working really hard to earn a large amount of it. So what happens when you accumulate a pile of moolah? Go gold-swimming, a la Uncle Scrooge circa Duck Tales? Probably not, you probably just go to a resort. And while it is nice relaxing in sunshine, I like being busy, I need to be, and I hope always to be. The goal, I guess, is to have enough money that gold-diving is a very real possibility, but hopefully you'd have better things to do.
Speaking of moolah, I went in today to set up my profile with a temp agency. I've already set up a profile three times with this particular agency; however, I've never actually gotten a job through them. So maybe that was a waste of time. However! I had to watch an office safety video and then (haha!) take a quiz on what I'd learned (ha! HA!) and it was possibly the greatest video ever made. (Definitely a video. My guess: 1988.) The title: Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Perilous Office. Haha! Sherlock Holmes has traveled in time with Watson (who is the POV) to this 1988 office to show what you should do in a perilous office under your temp agency contract. He used the term "Indja" at one point. As in, "I deduce that Tilly the office dunce pulled out two drawers and the filing cabinet fell over and killed her. You should never pull out more than one filing drawer at a time, Watson, or you'll end up head over tail just like that time in Indja!" What?!
I wonder how that actor felt about that shoot. Was it fun? Did he rush home to see his kids? Did he think it was a pile of shit? Are temp agency safety videos exactly what he wanted to do? What was his audition like?! And even though it was a laughable video...I'd totally do that. It looked like good fun, right-o, indeed it did. Tally-ho.
Aaaannd...tonight was my Zombie Play audition, which will not lead to any kind of vat of gold. (I was the possibly tacky auditionee who asked, if cast, would gas money be reimbursed? Let's get real here homies, I can't even afford $5 a gallon on getting to my temp job.) And the audition was...more of an experience than an audition. I realized midway over, after getting off 76, that this audition was most likely in a house. (Sure, I've auditioned in apartments before, most of us have, but only those with doormen. And only when the company had, like, a website not made on a mac.) I started envisioning bloody hypotheses about cute girls being lured into dilapidated row houses, given porn sides and then mutilated and turned into jersey prostitutes. I know, I'm ridiculous. I'm a worrier, I can't help it! But it turned out it was just a funny little audition on the wraparound porch of a peeling mansion in St. Joe's suburbia. Wynnewood. It was a group thing. They were really nice. It like being in camp. I slapped a mosquito dead on my arm during a monologue. The "zombies" in question were kids on aderol, half of them lesbians. There was some face-eating involved in the script. And the kids who were running the audition chain-smoked the entire time. And a kitten hung out for a little while. An experience, indeed.
And, you know, I enjoyed it. They asked the three of us auditioning on the porch together what we thought of the play, if we wanted to do it. Uuuuuhhhhh...I evaded and said, "I really like how collaborative this has been." I don't know if I'd do it, but I had a goshdarn good time. Honestly, I really did! They were nice people, I respect that they've put together a group and are in the Philly FringeFest and that they care about what they're doing. I mean, that's what you want right? To work with people who make something, and love it, and try to share it. So...I might not get gas money. I might get paid in beer. I'd get to say I was in a fringe show. I'd be doing something. I just want to work on something. I'm STARVED. Oh God. I'm an artistic zombie. I'm going to eat someone's face off if I don't do some freaking acting sometime soon!!!!!
It's the Uncle Scrooge V. Sherlock Holmes quandry. For money or fun? Sure, I'm a professional actor, but I want to have a good time doing this sometimes, or is that not allowed anymore? This summer's schedule is rapidly filling up, which is great, but I guess this is more of a question for life. How to schedule your world. Should you pick projects you think will be enjoyable over projects you know will pay? I guess it depends on if you're lucky enough to have a choice of picks. Now that I think of it...I'm not sure I am.
And then there's my industrial audition tomorrow. I've never done an audition for a live industrial. The email my agent sent me had zero practical advice. So, I'm just going to try to cram in as much information about the Eagles as I can find. Apparently, Terrell Owens used to be an Eagle. Who knew? I thought he played basketball.
Oh jesus, this is going to suck.
Or...it might be really fun. Maybe it could pay well AND be fun. Maybe that could happen.
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